A View on Sex for Christians

God likes sex. Does that seem like an odd statement? If I said that God likes healthy marriages, I don’t think that would raise any eyebrows. But somehow, bring sex into it and people aren’t sure how to react.

I’ve talked to a number of people that have a difficult time seeing sex as something that is healthy, holy and pure.

You know what? For some, this belief of sex as something dirty can be a challenge in their marriage.

About 15 years ago, I was talking to a guy that I knew at church about praying before, during or after sex. I didn’t think much about it at the time. The two of us lost track of each other and I didn’t see him for a number of years. I ran into him again and he commented that what he remembered most about me was my comments on praying during sex.

We both laughed about that.

Later, it occurred to me that he remembered my comments because he didn’t hear many people talk about prayer and sex in the same sentence.

When we mentor couples, we find different views of healthy sexuality. In a survey that we did on sexuality, we asked people if thinking about sex as something that is pure and holy was easy for them. 45% responded that it was either not easy to think that way or that they were undecided.

So, a big chunk of people have a difficult time thinking that sex is something that is pure.

Do I need to point out that our culture treats sex as something that is trivial? Much of our media advertising is based on sex. Pornography has risen in usage since anyone with the internet can gain easy access. I could go on and on, but I suspect you get that point.

We are bombarded with the message that sex is not that big of a deal. It’s trivial.

Yet, the bible says:

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19 (NIV)

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth — for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Songs 1:1

God created sex as something to be enjoyed and celebrated inside of the marriage bond. Have sex regularly!

I spoke with a woman that came to one of our seminars. She had gone home and was telling her friends about what she had learned. She told me her friends got a big kick out of one of our phrases. Guess which one?

We say, “God wants you have mind-blowing sex.”

I think her friends found that unusual. Maybe amusing? I’m not sure…

How do we put the “pure” back into sex? How do communicate that God wants us to have more and better sex inside of our marriages?

One of our surveys asks couples how their prayer habits. We have found that 63% of people don’t frequently pray together with their spouse. Many couples don’t pray together.

When we ask them if they would like to pray together more often, 84% agree.

Most couples want to prayer more together. Why not pray about their sex life?

Tips for Marriage Mentors

Talk to couples about praying before, during or after sex. Here’s a few ideas. Pray about:

• Expressing gratitude for their spouse
• A healthy view of sex
• Honoring God in the bedroom
• God would draw them closer together with a great connection
• God would bless their intimacy

We suggest that couples invite God into their bedroom and into their sex life. Sex is a pure and holy expression of love!